


They Tell Me You Touched The Face of God

by ninusch



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Bi-sexual JJ, Buried Alive, Canon-Typical Violence, Everybody is traumatised, F/M, Give JJ a break, I have thoughts on my casting please read the authors note, Implied/Referenced Torture, Its also the end of the world, JJ and John B are Hunters, JJ as Dean Winchester, Jiara - Freeform, John B as Sam Winchester, Kiara as Castiel, Kiara is an Angel, Luke dies early and good riddance, Pope loves old books, Sarah appears at the end, Some Pogue Group Action in the last third, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Writing Fight Scenes is really hard, demons vs angels, tw buried alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29308899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninusch/pseuds/ninusch
Summary: He saw a simple wooden cross planted where he dug out, his name crudely engraved. And as he looked around the grassy field he noticed that around him was a perfect circle of dead trees, laying on the ground as if an unearthly powerful blast had felled them.„Fuck“, he said, hoarse.Suddenly there was a rustle behind him, „JJ“He jumped around and squinted, taking in her dark hair, her dark skin and an age-old look in her eyes, „Who …?“She answered him in an even voice.„I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.“________Supernatural AU - JJ Maybank and John B Routledge grew up on the road, hunting the creatures of hell. Until JJ makes a fateful deal and is saved from hell by an angel.And she says God has a mission for him.
Relationships: JJ & John "Big John" Routledge, JJ & John B. Routledge, JJ & Pope (Outer Banks), JJ Maybank/Kiara Carrera, JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)
Kudos: 8





	They Tell Me You Touched The Face of God

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, buckle up this fic has a story:
> 
> Autumn 2020 I started to rewatch the first 5 seasons of Supernatural (the OG storyline). I first became a fan when the series aired in Germany, but stopped watching after the finale of season 5. During my rewatch I started writing this Jiara Supernatural AU while cringing at 95% of the shows jokes because none of them aged well. And since I love a traumatised-Good-Boy-turned-Bad-Boy-to-cope-with-the-circumstances I obviously cast JJ as Dean, with Kiara as Castiel because Jiara is my primary ship of the OBX show.
> 
> When Destiel became canon in November, I was hyped. Even as someone who has not kept up with the show in the past 10 years this made me incredibly happy. I think it’s an amazing thing that they finally acknowledged what fans knew all along. It was not perfect, I know some call it cheap and the Kill-Your-Gay-Trope was all over the place - but it is nevertheless important. 
> 
> But at the same time I felt bad for my casting of the Destiel ship for this AU. The Supernatural story would translate amazingly for a Mayward AU fic - but at this point I had already 10k of Jiara written. I pressed pause for a while because I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue. But now I decided to finish and post. 
> 
> If someone can point me to some Mayward-AUs of the kind, I would love to read them. 
> 
> Some dialogues are almost word-to-word to the series transcript. Other things are more loose as I try to fit approx. 4-5 seasons of television into one wip. (Also I made demons wayyyyy easier to kill in the last bit because I was running out of steam.)
> 
> Have fun!
> 
> PS: Find the obligatory Playlist at the end.

JJ woke in utter darkness with a gasping breath so deep it moved his whole body and made him hit his head.

For a moment he was only hearing the wheezing sounds as he was pumping stale, dusty air into his lungs. His body was stiff and ached as he tried to move his hands. He brushed against something close on his left and he felt the same thing on his right side, and when he move his hand up the thing was there yet again.

He shook with effort, still coughing as he reached for the trusted zippo in his pocket and it took him a long time to make his fingers work.

The flame erupted and he saw that he was in a cheap wooden coffin.

More a crooked box than a coffin really, with dust and black earth falling through the cracks on top of him as he coughed and wheezed some more. When he tried to shout for help his voice was gone Only a thin and raspy sound came out as if he hadn’t used his voice in a long, long time. Adrenaline exploded in his blood, sending signals to his brain to attack, to run, to panic, to scream.

He was buried alive.

He pressed his eyes shut, tried to breathe in as deep as he could like Big John tried to teach him many times to steady himself. That was not right. None of this was right! JJ’s memory flooded with flashing sounds and noises and _pain,_ and he suddenly remembered.

Yes, he _had_ died.

And then he groaned.

„John B, you fucking amateur.“

He banged against the wooden box, shouting and squirming, opening his knuckles until finally the brittle wood gave way and he and the flame of his zippo where buried once more in cold, dark earth.

JJ had no recollection how long it took him but eventually his hand pushed through the earth and his bloody skin felt the soft caress of wind. He pushed his aching body until he burst out in the open, another wheezing breath, two, and then he crawled his way out of the ground, groaning and gasping.

He fell on his back and was desperately taking in the fresh air, his eyes blinded by the light. When he opened them again he saw that sky covered with grey, low clouds yet he squinted at the brightness as he forced his battled body to stand up and look around.

He saw a simple wooden cross planted where he dug out, his name crudely engraved. And as he looked around the grassy field he noticed that around him was a perfect circle of dead trees, laying on the ground as if an unearthly powerful blast had felled them.

„Fuck“, he said, hoarse.

Suddenly there was a rustle behind him, „JJ“

He jumped around and squinted, taking in her dark hair, her dark skin and an age-old look in her eyes, „Who …?“

She answered him in an even voice.

„I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.“

* * *

Jonathan Jacob Maybank learned early in his life that monsters don’t hide under the bed.

Monsters were human, they sit at the kitchen table with sour breath and sweat stains, drink whiskey and snort coke.

So he was kind of taken aback when he found out that the old Crain house was indeed haunted by a vengeful ghost.

He had taken his new friend John B to their local dare game and he went further than he ever needed to before because he wanted to impress him. And when the old bat suddenly appeared out of thin air and attacked him, gripped his ankle and _shook him_ , it was John B who swung an old fire hook at her that made her screech and vanish.

„Ghosts don’t like iron“, John B had said and offered him his hand, „Gotta call my dad or she comes back.“

„Cool“, JJ had replied, incredibly impressed, and knew that from this moment on he would follow John B blind.

Big John took JJ with him to the cemetery: He and John B were new in town and he said he needed someone to show him where the old Crain mausoleum was. In hindsight JJ was pretty sure that was a lie.

Anyway, he was eleven when he salted and burned his first bones.

„The story goes like this …“ John B told him in the days after. A demon had killed John Bs mum when he was just a baby. Big John called him „Yellow Eyes“. John B had never met his mother but whatever happened that night, it had opened Big Johns eyes to the world that was existing beyond the veil: A world of ghosts, vampires and monsters.

John B grew up on the road with his father obsessively searching for clues of the demon that had murdered his wife - while he hunted everything he encountered in the meantime. Creatures out of old legends and beliefs, most of them in one form or the other bastardized by time or Hollywood or other shit but nevertheless very much real. They haunted humans for food, for revenge or for blood sports.

Having located to the OBX, now, instead of having to change school every couple of months because of a new job of his father, John B was mainly staying alone at the old beat up house they dubbed Chateau and went to school with JJ while his father left the islands for weeks and sometimes months to hunt.

JJ loved hanging out with John B at the Chateau alone. But he loved it even more when Big John was around.

He hoarded old books and scripts (not the cool part) and he taught John B about the world of the supernatural, how to fight its creatures, how to use guns and how to commit credit card fraud (the cool part).

At first he refused to teach JJ too. But when JJ visited one day with a blue eye and a cracked rib from his father, Big John relented.

JJ was a natural.

The Routledges only stayed a year - when their Twinkie swung around the corner it was the hardest JJ had cried since his mother left.

* * *

„Who are you?“, JJ rasped.

She looked at him, her old eyes in stark contrast to the smooth young skin and the colorful bracelets she wore.

„I’m Kiara“, she answered in a smooth voice.

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes, „Yeah, yeah great … _what_ are you?“

She raised an eyebrow at him, „I’m an angel of the Lord.“

She said it with so much conviction he actually took a step back. Then he laughed, „Yeah, right. There's no such thing!“

„You have very little faith for someone who has been to hell and back.“

„Yeah, probably explains why my patience’s a little thin, so how about …“, but while he was still speaking she uncrossed her arms and out of nowhere the sky turned dark, lightning bolds were flashing in front of JJs hurting eyes and he stumbled backwards and fell. He saw Kiara standing in front of him and out of her back two great shadowy wings appeared, stretching all the way across the field.

As quick as the sky had darkened it changed again, the grey lightness came back and the wings disappeared and now towering over him was just the girl-woman while he was sitting in the dirt with open mouth.

„Shit.“

„Indeed“, she fucking smirked (Where angels allowed to do that?) and offered him a hand which he ignored.

God, he was thirsty. He also noticed how much his right shoulder burned, „Why would an angel rescue me from hell?“

Kiara face was impassive, „You don't think you deserve to be saved?“

 _Yeah, that’s pretty much hammer-nail_ , he thought. But Kiara was not waiting for a sarcastic quip and continued, „I saved you because God commanded it. Because we have work for you, JJ.“

„A job? Really? You went through all this trouble …“, he motioned at the carnage around them, „… to offer me a job?! Don’t want to get your angelic hands dirty?“

He knew he was pushing his luck the moment he spoke the words - her brow furrowed and a spark lit up her eyes, her voice tight as she said, „Read the Bible, JJ. Angels are warriors of God. I'm a soldier!“

But since JJ had no filter he only replied, „You sure about that, darlin’?“

„You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell, I can throw you back in.“, and with this she ripped his dirty shirt sleeve up his shoulder and JJ saw it.

There was a burned imprint of a hand, a thick, angry and fresh scar screaming red against his pale skin. With a finality worthy of the grand stage Kiara placed her hand right on top of it and images flashed before JJs eyes as pain erupted all over his body, emptiness only disturbed by red lightning, muffled screams, black pits and silver flashes and then … a light.

A bright warm light and a soft voice calling his name. The imprint was not burning anymore but was spreading warmth through his body, replacing fatigue with energy, adrenalin with endorphin and when he opened his eyes, Kiara was standing in front of him, face close, hand on his arm and he saw her mouth form his name and the voice from his memory echoed back to him.

„JJ.“

He swallowed and blinked away the tears that were threatening to flood his eyes. JJ needed several attempts until his voice was working again.

„Why me?“, he gasped.

„We need you to hunt a demon, JJ. Her name is Lilith and she is attempting to break the 66 seals that will start the apocalypse.“

„Apocalypse?“, his mind was racing, „Like - … the four horsemen, red oceans, fiery skies, all the greatest hits?“

„Yes, JJ. The seals are mile markers. Think of them as locks on a door: Once the last one breaks, Lucifer walks free.“

„Lucifer?! I …“, he stammered, „And you need me for … what exactly?“

„There are a multitude of battles, of seals being threatened by Lilith’s army. There are 600 possible seals and Lilith only has to break 66 of them. No one knows which she's going to break. We are loosing this war. Our numbers are not unlimited - Six of my brothers and sisters died in the field this week.“

Kiara took a step back but her eyes remained fixed on him, „We need you to find Lilith - … and stop the apocalypse.“

* * *

When his father stopped hitting him a year later JJ knew something was up.

He noticed the smell of sulfur in the air and eventually he saw the blacked out eyes. The demon gave a wide grin and stroked his hair.

„Don’t you worry, little man“, he had said.

John B had told him about demons. That you had to exorcise them with languages that died or something. That sometimes the bodies used as meat suits would survive the process. But JJ didn’t knew how to do that so he called the emergency number of Big John. It took the Routledges four days to drive back to the OBX from wherever they were before.

His father didn’t survive the exorcism. JJ didn’t cry. Instead he went to his room, packed a duffle with a couple of shirts and caps and slid into the backseat of the old truck and he never looked back.

The ADHD in school? Killer.

But pitted against vengeful creatures of hell, guns, fist fights and living out of a car? It was the spice that made him incredibly good at this lifestyle.

Hard wired with endless energy he could make sense of odds details and his instincts were as good as Big Johns or the Heywards with all their experience and studied scripts.

John B called it the ‚JJ tingle‘ — like the one time he just knew that that creepy looking scarecrow in that apple orchard in Indiana was up to no good and eventually turned out to be an old pagan deity demanding human sacrifice. He had been 15 and the daughter of their innkeeper had brought him there to hook up.

Not that he was meaning to boast but fact was: He was a damn good hunter.

Some creatures even knew his name, hissed it when they saw him and depending on how low on the food chain they were even fled rather than fought. He flourished in trucker bars, in cheating people out of their money in fixed games of poker or pool. He didn’t care that the motels they stayed at were old and dingy. He didn’t care that he didn’t graduate High School.

Hunting was the one thing JJ was good at in this life and while he still fucked up plenty he knew that innocent people lived because of him.

Worth it.

Until Big John made the deal.

* * *

„How come you are the angel, but I have to do all the work?“, JJ asked, gulping down water he had stolen from a gas station and driving the car he had hot wired to go to Heywards roadhouse to persuade them to help him find a demon and stop the apocalypse after he had returned from the dead with the help of a literal angel from heaven.

Just another Tuesday.

Kiara had her head perched on her forearms, leaning out the side of the open window and with eyes closed replied, „I don’t know how to drive. I don’t need to.“

„And you are absolutely sure you can’t just zap me to the Heywards?“

She didn’t dignify him with an answer.

All in all it was the most uncomfortable two days JJ had ever spend road tripping. He tried catching up on sleep in the backseat of the car. One would think that after being dead for four months one was well rested but truth was JJ felt like a hot mess inside a dumpster fire inside a train wreck. Yet he was barely able to sleep more than a couple hours at a time without nightmares waking him up, sweaty and out of breath.

Sometimes Kiara was there, sometimes not. He learned to listen to the sound of fluttering wings as a signal of her arrival.

JJ almost crashed the car when he learned about the vessel thing.

„Don’t get me wrong but I imagined a lot more chubby cheeks and diapers.“

Kiara rolled her eyes. „That’s just ill-conceived propaganda. There are only very few people that can perceive my true visage, JJ, or that can hear my real voice.“

She shrugged, „Besides, it was suggested that it would be easier for you … like this.“

„Your true … like what?“

„Angels need a vessel to walk among you - this body was commandeered to support you in your purpose.“

„You are … _possessing_ that poor girl?!“

„Angels cannot _possess_ a body. We are being invited in by our hosts.“, she explained.

„This hippie chick?! Really can’t picture her at bible camp.“

Kiara sighed, „Her soul had left this body before I touched it, JJ. It was actually her parents that prayed for a miracle. I answered them.“

„Probably not the miracle they hoped for“, he gritted through his teeth.

When Pope opened the door JJ had expected a lot in terms of reaction but for sure he didn’t expect to be attacked.

Popes eyes widened at first.

„Surprise!“, JJ grinned but then a slash of silver appeared and he had to dodge and twist away from the knife Pope swung at him.

„Pope, chief! It's me!“

„Liar!“, Pope screamed and tried to slash again.

JJ held his arms out, „Whoa, whoa, wait! Your name is Pope Heyward, you were born into a family of hunters, you kick ass at research and you are my best friend although I did a lot to fuck that up. Pope, _it's me!“_

To Kiara he said, „A little help, maybe?“ She just smirked again.

Pope seemed to finally notice the strange girl but still held the knife high, „You are a shapeshifter, or … or a revenant or something!“

„Let me proof it, okay? Just … “, JJ shouted and stopped as Kiara suddenly produced a silver knife from her boot and offered it to him, handle first.

He sliced his forearm and as a line of blood appeared he grimaced, „If I was either could I do this with a silver knife?“

Pope lowered his weapon, eying JJ and Kiara and then, finally, „JJ?“

„Surprise“, he repeated with significant less enthusiasm than the first time but opened his arms regardless as Pope approached him.

Only to get water splashed into his face from a flask.

JJ spat, „You know … I’m not a demon either. Holy water don’t work on me.“

Pope shrugged, „Can't be too careful.“

And then he finally embraced him in a bone crushing hug. JJ hid his tears in the collar of Popes shirt and there was a lot of swaying and clapping each others’ back until Kiara cleared her throat.

„Right, yeah …“, JJ wiped at his eyes. Pope kept his hold on him like he needed to be sure that JJ wouldn’t just vanish again, „We buried you.“

„Yeah, like a group of fucking amateurs! I mean … don’t you know nothing?! I should have come back as ghost just to haunt your lazy asses and teach you a lesson!“

„I … John B didn’t want to … How did you get out?“

„You ehm … might want to sit down for this story, buddy. _Where is_ John B?“

* * *

The thing that got JJ in the end was not necessarily that Big John would be so crazy to sell his soul to a demon.

Or that he was notorious enough downstairs that the demon amped up the deal from ten cushy years to mere minutes before pay day.

The thing was that he did it to _save JJ._

They had gotten a hint from Heyward about demonic signs - the same that had appeared before John Bs mother was killed.

JJ remembered thinking that the meat suit of Yellow Eyes was so nondescript save the eye color that it was uncanny - after all, demons loved a certain flair. He had welcomed them with wide arms, looking from Big John to JJ to John B and finally said, „My prodigal son returns.“

JJ remembered being cornered. He remembered being shoved against the wall and sliced open, bleeding and hurting. He remembered being carried to the car and then nothing.

There was a crash, John B said. A massive truck rammed nose first into their car on the way to the hospital - a demon had possessed the driver.

John Bs arm had been broken, Big John had some nasty cuts and bruises but JJ himself in the back of the car had gotten the brunt of the impact on top of his prior injuries. The doctors told the Routledges to say their goodbyes to him. He was beyond saving, machines doing the work of breathing. Big John stormed off. And the next thing was JJ miraculously waking up, bones healed, organs where they should be, with a nasty tube stuck down his throat.

„You need to watch out for John B.“, Big John had whispered into his ear, the only goodbye from the only father figure he had ever loved.

„Save him. And if you can’t … you need to kill him.“

JJ took an educated guess and figured the _‚I know you are able to do it_ ‘ went unsaid. JJ was a good soldier. But in that moment he had no idea what any of it meant.

Big John was found dead in the next room - heart attack, the doctors said. But they knew better. The smell of sulfur was all over.

The grief hurt like a motherfucker. The confusion about Big Johns last words was even worse. JJ went on a rampage, not just killing the next best thing they found but obsessively searching, hunting, shooting and burning to even out the tally he knew he would never be able to balance.

He drank and drank some more and hooked up with so many people he lost count - he even made a move on Pope one day, shrugged his shoulders and called it love and it took Pope a long, long time to forgive him.

JJ had prayed before in his life, when he was young.

Today, he knew that no merciful God was out there - not with everything he had seen. But on this first night he was weak and folded his hands and prayed, prayed desperately that he would just die again in return for Big Johns soul.

Later, he was happy to offer himself up for anybody really.

JJ didn’t deserve to be saved.

He tried to tell John B who was desolate but too stubborn to admit to the fact.

„You are my best friend. You are my brother! I hate him for what he did but he saved you! I cannot wish your roles were reversed, JJ.“

Turned out, Big John had been holding a lot back from them.

By and by, they found multiple self-storage units rented in his name, filled with books, scripts and theories of the Yellow Eyed Demon, much of which they couldn’t make any sense of, written in code not even Pope could crack. Sometimes they found new weapons like that sweet, sweet silver knife that could cut demons or the colt with the special bullets that killed even the unkillable.

Among the papers was also a deed to the Chateau Big John had purchased in John Bs name.

JJ never told John B what his father had asked of him. Until he had to go and fall off that damn tower.

* * *

„And you remember nothing?“, John B asked.

JJ squirmed, „Nope. It’s like a bad hangover.“

„Well, that might be for the best, considering …“, John B sighed.

Finding him was easy enough: Pope had kept tabs on John B who apparently went through a phase of spiraling self-destruction which JJ really couldn’t blame him for.

They found him in a motel with a girl. After the initial awkwardness around JJ’s general status as human John B tried to tactfully usher her out and failed. Angry, she slammed the door behind her.

„Good Job, John B!“

„Like you are the one to talk! Good God …“

Pope elbowed JJ in the ribs at the mention of ‚God‘, and JJ cleared his throat, „Which actually brings me to … well, _the reason_.“

„Huh?“

„So, in theory … do you have a problem believing in like - God? And … angels?“

„Why are you asking me this?“

„Because if you did believe in them would that mean you potentially believe in the Devil too?“

John B had to sit down in the middle of JJ’s story and then asked a million questions JJ really wasn’t prepared to answer yet.

„See, this is why I can't get behind God!“, John B burst out.

Pope sat up, „What are you talking about?“

„Look, if he doesn't exist, _fine!_ Okay, that means bad crap happens to good people and it’s just random, horrible evil and that’s just how it is! I can roll with that“, John B pointed, „But _if_ he is really out there then what the fuck is wrong with him? Where is he while decent people are getting torn to shreds? Why doesn't he help?“

JJ offered his hand in a high-five, „Yeah, dude, stick it to the man! “ while Pope just sighed to himself, „I ain't touching this one with at 10-foot pole.“

„But he does help …“, a new voice said from behind them among the soft flutter of wings, „He has send me to save JJ and help you.“

John B sprang up, ready with his knife to attack. JJ jumped between him and Kiara, „Whoa, whoa, whoa -- that’s her, that’s the angel, John B!“

John B was so perplexed he stammered, „Oh my God – er – uh – I didn’t mean – sorry. It’s an honor, really, I – !“

He stepped forward and offered her his hands which she only blankly stared at.

„You shake it“, JJ said and Kiara kept staring and as the awkwardness grew too much for Pope to bear he tried to smooth over with his favorite topic: research.

„Kiara, good that you are back. I have a million questions! Look, I already found out more about the seals and it’s really crazy how many sources and signs they are“, he gushed, „Here … Ten species going extinct in Key West. Everyone in a fifteen-man fishing crew going blind in Alaska. A teacher in New York killing sixty-six student, can you believe, I mean … err, anyway! All seals, all already broken by Lilith and her gang.“

„Time is running out, JJ“, Kiara said with a stern face and JJ wanted to protest but John B was faster.

„We should get to work“, he started packing his stuff into a large bag.

„With what plan, exactly?“, Pope asked and John B didn’t bat an eye as he raised the silver demon-cutting knife, „Killing Lilith, of course.“

* * *

In hindsight, JJ probably should have just saved himself some trouble and gone to hell right then and there.

„Following in Step-Daddy's footsteps? Making a deal and bring Little John B back from the dead, and—let me guess— you're offering up your own soul?“, the eyes of the crossroad demon flashed red in amusement, brushing non-existent dust of his impeccably cut suit.

„There are a hundred other scumbags like you who'd love to get their hands on me. But I’m all yours, sweetheart … All you got to do is bring John B back! Give me ten years, and then you come collect.“

„No deal.“

„That's the same deal you give everybody else!“

„But you're not everybody else, aren’t you? You are JJ Maybank! Keep your soul - it's too tarnished, anyway.“

„Nine years!“, he pleaded.

The demon shook his head, „Don’t get me wrong, JJ. The whole two-brothers-that-love-each-other-spiel is truly heartwarming, it really is! But no.“

„Okay, five years. Five years or no deal!“

„Then no deal. Big John Routledge didn’t get another minute more, why should you?“

JJ gritted his teeth, „What do I have to do?!“

The demon clicked his tongue at him like he was an unruly child, „It’s not cute when you beg, JJ. But what can I say … I got a blind spot for you. I’ll do it. I will even give you one year. If you try and cheat your way out the deal is off and John B drops dead, you hear? It's better terms than Big John ever got. So what do you say?“

JJ pulled him in and pressed his lips against the demons mouth to seal the offer before he could change his mind. The demon just chuckled.

„So eager … boy, it’s a pleasure doing business with you, JJ. A true pleasure indeed!“, he didn’t let him go when JJ wanted to move back, „Have you ever heard the expression ‚ _If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is?‘_ “

„You call that deal good?“, JJ snarled.

„You really should read the small print, JJ.“, leaning in to whisper into JJs ear the demon asked, „How certain are you that what you just bought is pure John B?“

„You little …“

„You of all people should know that what's dead should stay dead“, he stroked JJs cheek before vanishing.

John B was furious.

And JJ learned that while he thought he already knew all the pain there was - abandonment, self-hate, loss, disappointment, _actual_ broken bones and such - the worst was the absence of hope.

Before, somehow a small part of him had always retained the conviction that good things would eventually come to him. Eventually he would save enough people. He would rest, look into the mirror with head held high.

In his last year on earth he learned that he had been wrong all along - he could not safe enough people to make up for those he hurt.

He didn’t manage to safe John B with his sacrifice. The demon was right -- He was not fully the John B he knew. He was changed: Lonely and desperate. Joyless and angry. Eyes dark and moods wild.

And a year and many fights with vain attempts to save his soul later, JJ heard the growls of the hellhounds ready to drag him down. As he was choking on fear, fighting tooth and nail, he cursing hell, heaven and earth as he looked at John B and saw a vision of what he would become once JJ was gone.

He doomed him.

* * *

JJ maintained that he had no recollection of the four months he spent in hell.

John B had asked him straight out and he denied. Pope tried to hint around the issue a couple of times until JJ told him to either get it out or shut the fuck up. Kiara just gave him looks that felt as invading as if she had cut open his skull to probe around in there.

They were no closer to finding Lilith nor to stopping her. Their only lead - Lilith’s appointed ‚cook‘; JJ wanted to vomit at the thought - held tight.

Until he didn’t.

„Why don’t you ask JJ what he really remember from his little trip to hell?“, the demon bared his teeth at Pope and Kiara. He was tied inside the Demon trap painted on the wooden floor of Heywards living room.

„Without him none of this would have been possible.“

Of course, coward that we was, JJ tried to run. John B found him packing the Twinkie and showed him the part he took out of the engine to stop him from driving off into the sunset, apocalypse be damned.

„You need to tell us, Jay!“, John B begged.

And of course, there was no way JJ could deny John B.

Later, gathered around the round, ratty table in the kitchen he took a sip of the beer.

„It wasn't four months, you know …“, he focused on peeling the label off the bottle while speaking, „I know it was like four months up here for you guys but for me - down there - Time's … different. It was more like - like forty years.“

Pope stared at JJ and John B turned to Kiara, „Did you know that?“

JJ looked up and their eyes met for a long moment until suddenly and for the first time she looked away first. JJ scoffed.

John B was breathing hard, „My God, JJ … I mean … _God!“_

„God had nothing to do with it“, JJ gulped the beer down like he needed the liquid courage before it broke out of him.

„They ... sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you - Look, you can’t … I don’t know how to -- until there was nothing left, you know? Like - _nothing_. But then I would be whole again like some fucked up magic trick! Just so they could start all over. And, uh … and at the end, every time they would - would make me an offer. To take me off the rack, you know, take me off if I put souls on.“

He pressed out, „If I would start the torturing.“

Now Pope was staring at Kiara, maybe silently praying for some angelic intervention. John B wiped at his eyes.

„And every day“, JJ continued, „I told them to fuck off.“

He gasped out a broken, snickering laugh before burying his face in his hands, „I told them for thirty years. But then I couldn't do it anymore, I … I couldn’t!“

His voice broke and feeling every memory itching painfully under his skin he burst out of his chair, hand in his hair tearing at the roots and pacing up and down.

„And I got off that rack and … I - I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls, you have … you have no idea the - _the things that I did to them!“_

John B sprang up too and gripped him tight by the shoulders, „JJ! JJ, look at me. I can’t … man, I can’t imagine but - hear me out, man: _You held out!_ You held out! For thirty years! That's longer than anyone could have!“

„No, that’s not true. Your dad did.“

Kiara perked up from where she was leaning, „What?“

„They told me. You dad did, John B. He wouldn’t do it! But I … I couldn’t take it anymore. I - How I feel, John B, this inside of me …“, JJ gulped down so much air he felt dizzy, „I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing!“

„JJ, what did they say to you, exactly?“, Kiara moved between John B, fixing JJ with one of her stares. She wasn’t even touching him yet the imprint she left behind on his shoulder was burning. An invisible string connecting him to her, a string he both wished he could cut and at the same time felt like being the only lifeline tethering him to sanity.

„This is not the time …“, John B started but she silenced him with a wave of her hand, „What did they say to you, exactly?“

JJ tried to move away but she reached out.

„Every night, the same offer? Same as Big John?“, she prompted.

„I told you he didn’t do it!“, JJ snapped but she held him tighter and said more to herself than anyone in the room, „Then this was their plan all along. It was Big John who was supposed to bring it on. But - … in the end - it was you!“

„Bring what on?“

Kiara trembled. She actually trembled and when she looked up to him her eyes were glossy and wide and _scared_. Shit, he never seen her scared before.

„ _And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break.“_

JJ was stunned.

„You should have left me there.“, he rasped.

Kiara moved to take his face in her hands but he backed away from her in reflex.

„JJ, listen to me. It is also written that _the righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it._ Stopping Lilith, it’s not just an order, JJ, do you understand? That’s why I was ordered to save you. It’s your destiny! _You_ have to stop it, you are the only one who can. All of our fates rest with you.“

For a moment the only sound was the pumping of the AC.

And then JJ started laughing for real, bending over even. He always laughed at the most inappropriate moments. She stared at him as he wiped at his eyes with a last huff and said „You are so, _so_ screwed.“

„JJ …“

„You and your God - You bet on the wrong fucking horse! I … I can't do it. It's too big. I'm … I’m not - … I’m not strong enough.“

He swallowed hard, „ _I’m not all here._ “

Then JJ turned and left her standing, with John B and Pope silent in her back.

* * *

She found him lying next to the Twinkie on the ground, smoking, watching the blue smoke escape into the night sky.

„Don’t!“, he warned before she could open her mouth.

He heard her sigh and got down next to him. JJ felt himself stiffen when her body brushed up next to his and for a short, crazy moment he wondered if this was her next scheme: Seducing him and putting that body to use to make him biddable.

_It was suggested that it would be easier for you, like this._

For a short, crazy moment he wondered if he should let her.

Then he snorted.

This was ridiculous. Would angels even have sex? Would they know how? He remembered her cold stares, the hard lines around her mouth whenever she disapproved of him (which was often).

But JJ also remembered some of the choice words she had hurled in his direction that were definitely un-angelic. He remembered her eyes, the smirks she was prone to give whenever he and the guys were bickering playfully and the tingling sense of connection tugging at him when she was close. Her voice, thick, telling him that this was not just quid pro quo - her saving him from hell, him saving the world in return - but destiny.

„There is a reason why you are here, and I with you, JJ.“

JJ flicked the stub of his cigarette away, „Save the sermon for another time.“

Kiara turned on her side, facing him. Then she put her hand in his neck to make him face her, „God will … he will forgive you for what you did in hell.“

JJ hissed and tore away from her touch so hard it hurt, „I don’t ... _I don’t want it_.“

That was a lie.

In fact he wanted forgiveness very much. He just had no idea what earthly or über-earthly power could ever be so forgiving to grant it to him.

„I don’t need your God’s forgiveness. I don’t need your God! I don’t need any of it.“ _Lies. Lies. More Lies._

„Who are we to question the will of God?“, she sighed and it struck him that this sounded less like one of her hollow proverbs and more like an actual question.

„Why did you do it?“, she finally asked after not saying anything at all for a long time, „You spent your life hunting the mistakes of humans messing with the natural order of things. And yet you went ahead and sold your soul for John B although he should have remained dead.“

„When people are praying to someone in heaven and being ignored, you can’t really blame them for turning to hell instead when they become desperate, can’t you?“

„Were you desperate?“

„Yes.“

„Did you pray for help?“

JJ squirmed, then „A couple of times.“

„Did it help?“

„No.“

She nodded. „We have let you down. Humankind - … His greatest achievement, and we have let you fend for yourself.“

„Yeah.“

„Sometimes I wished to be a human myself.“

JJ almost choked on his own spit, „What?! Why? Why would you want to be one of us? Have you not been listening to what I just said? We are a bunch of miserable bastards! Just… eating and crapping. Confused. Making the same mistakes over and over. _Afraid!“_

Kiara replied, „There's forgiveness, loyalty, love…“

JJ huffed, „Pain“

„Mercy“

„Guilt“

„Independence …“, she countered with a sad smile. JJ cocked an eyebrow at her.

„This body, JJ, I can’t even begin to tell you - … every emotion, even the bad ones! It’s like after all this time there is a purpose to what I am doing. I have control. For the first time.“

„How's that even possible? You angels are powerful and -- perfect! You don't doubt yourselves. Or God? Or anything! It’s very annoying, really.“

It made her smile for a moment, and he really shouldn’t be so happy that he managed to make her smile.

„Yes. Perfect - like a marble statue. Cold - with no choice. There is only obedience. JJ, do you know how many angels have actually seen God?“

He frowned, „Haven’t all of you?“

„Four angels“, she replied with huffed laughter, „And I'm not one of them.“

„Then how do you even know that there is a God?“, he asked with bitter voice, „And that he would forgive what I have done?“

Kiara swallowed hard. „I have to take it on faith. Watching earth, silent and invisible, waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand.“

JJ felt his blood rushing in his ears like it happened every time he would go gun first into a creatures den or summon an angry ghost. Like every time he was ready to fight. Thing was he had no idea against what he was fighting now.

Or for whom.

„Kie. What is going on? What is going on, really?“

„They have begun to question my sympathies“, she turned to face him again, „Command feels I have begun to express emotions. Emotions are the doorway to doubt.“

„You’re not going away, don’t you?“, he asked, suddenly panicking.

„Who are we to question the will of God?“, she repeated like it was a joke he would not understand and with a gentle fluttering sound she vanished.

* * *

She was gone for a week and JJ expected it to rain blood every second now.

Lilith’s cook still hasn’t said anything that was remotely helpful and at this point, he felt their unsuccessful attempts chafing so hard at his professional pride as a hunter that he was more and more open to the possibility to the armies of heaven giving them a little leg-up.

„He won’t say more“, Pope threw a bible to the side.

„Still no word from Kiara?“, John B asked and JJ shook his head, „Angel Support Hotline is silent.“

„Funny.“

She appeared next to the sink and all of them jumped and spun around, Pope pressing a hand against his heart, „ _I hate it_ when you do that!“

„Where have you been?“, JJ gestured at the closed door in the back, irritated and relieved at the same time, „We could have used you!“

„I’m not here to perch on your shoulder, JJ. We have larger issues!“, Kiara snapped, her face uncharacteristically vivid and voice irate, and he blinked in confusion, „Easy, tiger! What the hell happened at Bible Camp to get you in such a foul mood?“

She closed her eyes and took a long deep breath, ignoring the impatient stares of the others and it was a gesture so eerily human JJ had to remind herself that this was nothing but a mere meat suit she was wearing. Kiara hated that phrase but really, was it anything different that what the demons did?

„Nothing you need to concern yourself with“, she finally said, voice monotone but still with a strained edge, „We don’t have a lot of time left. Lilith is breaking more and more seals. We need to find out where she hides. We need that demon of yours to start talking.“

„Tell us something we don’t know“, JJ huffed and for a moment they stared at each other so hostile the air started to prick.

Pope held up his hands, „Relax. We just haven’t thought of all our options yet. I’m sure I find something when I hit the books one more time.“

Kiara looked between all them in the rundown kitchen until her eyes finally landed back on JJ.

„There is one thing you haven’t tried yet“, she said. And she kept looking at him in this new-old detached way of hers and their invisible string tingled as the imprint on his shoulder stared to burn again.

Then he understood.

„No!“, he gasped with a strangled voice.

„You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got …“

„No! No way. You can't ask me to do this, Kie. Not this!“, he hissed and moved his hands through his hair, tearing, pain to counter pain. Kiara blinked and then blinked again and then moved to hold out the demon cutting knife that had been on the table next to her.

JJ swallowed hard and his throat felt like an open wound. And eventually he felt his shoulder fall forward as he made his decision.

It’s been a week.

And he expected it to rain blood every second now.

Slowly JJ moved to the medical cabinet in the kitchen, rummaging around until he found the large syringe. His voice sounded hollow in his ears when he spoke, „You ask me to open that door and walk through it, Kie. But you will not like what walks back out.“

„You can’t be serious!“, John B shouted.

„JJ, the guy inside might still be alive.“, Pope whispered.

„Not for long if Lilith breaks all the seals“, Kiara breathed as JJ filled the syringe with holy water, as he pulled salt from another cabinet and took the demon-cutting silver knife from her. Her eyes followed him as he walked through the door and shut it behind him. He could still hear them fighting on the other side.

„Stop this.“, Pope begged, „This is … this can’t be Gods wish!“

„It is“, Kiara said with a firm voice and then, a moment later less firm, „I have been told we need it. It has to be done.“

„You say that the only hope of stopping the apocalypse is JJ. Yet here you are … ruining the one real weapon you say you have!“, John B hissed, angry.

„For what it's worth …“, she answered weakly, „I would give anything not to have him do this.“

Then parts of JJs brain shut down, compartmentalizing what he was about to do.

_I’m not all here._

The demon hissed and screamed under his administrations. Then he started talking. And then the screams stopped.

Numb JJ opened the winged doors wide, knowing they would see the man behind him, lifeless inside the demon trap, bloodied salt crusted around his open mouth.

„Lilith will break the final seal in five days in an abandoned convent in Maryland.“

„The final seal?“, Kiara repeated with hollow voice at the same time as Pope asked, „What about him?“

„Didn’t make it.“, JJs voice was flat.

„It’s … it’s his will, JJ.“, her voice lacked conviction.

„You just don’t understand, don’t you?“, JJ stared her down, „There’s no God. There is nothing worthy of the name. There's just chaos. And violence, and … and random evil that comes out of nowhere and rips you to shreds. Demons, Angels … you are all the same to me.“

She didn’t say another word after that.

* * *

They drove to Maryland.

Pope sat next to him and murmured to the fleeting countryside passing by, „This was an impossible task.“

JJ gripped the steering wheel of the Twinkie tighter, watching John B with Kiara through the rearview mirror, sitting silently in the second car behind them.

„We’ll see.“

„Maybe this is supposed to happen, Jay. I mean the bible says …“

„Fuck the bible.“

„JJ …“

„Fuck heaven. Fuck hell. Fuck God, and the devil and all their demons and angels. If you want to get a job done, do it yourself. It’s the law of jungle, man.“

Pope sighed and remained silent until they reached St. Mary’s Convent with three days to spare.

After checking in at a motel nearby, JJ tore the room key out of Popes hand and stormed ahead, letting the door to their double slam open for the others to follow. He unpacked their gear - holy water, amo filled with rock salt, rosaries and a shit ton of silver and iron - when he heard the door click shut and saw Kiara leaning against it.

„Pope and John B went to stake out the convent“, she said. It were her first words since the kitchen.

„At your suggestion?“

„You were right.“

„Happens more often than you think, darlin’.“

„Don’t call me that.“

„Or what? You gonna snitch to daddy? Oh wait, I forgot … he doesn’t speak to you.“

„JJ. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry it ended like this …“

„You know, I actually am not. I’m not sorry at all. Because …“, he waved his hand at her, „You know because for a moment there I actually forgot what you are: You are just a little soldier, following orders.“

Kiara opened her mouth to reply but he didn’t let her, „So thank you really! Because you made damn sure that I will never again forget what I am. I’m not smart like Pope. Or kind like John B. But I am fighter. I can do what needs to be done. I can bear it. For them. Big John knew. And now I know too. I’m not anyones’ puppet anymore.“

He gave her a mock bow, „Yeah, … thanks for that.“

Kiara shook her head in distress, „Try to understand -- this is long foretold that ...“

He threw the box of amo so hard against the wall the packaging burst and bullets scattered everywhere. Kiara didn’t flinch as he drew close to her, fixing her with his eyes and hissed, „You were gonna help me once, weren't you?! You were on our side! Before they dragged you back! What happened, huh? Because … _shit_.“

He wiped his eyes, sniffing and coughing and trying to laugh the lump in his throat away that had clogged his breathing since they left Heywards, with no success.

_I’m not all here._

„Shit, Kie. Help me -- now.“

She slowly moved her hands through his hair. JJ groaned as she leaned in, brushing her lips against his. One, two times and when she opened her mouth against his, he turned away, „Don’t … Don’t manipulate me again.“

Kiara swallowed hard, „I’m not. I’m sorry. I’m … I’m falling, JJ.“

She pulled him into a hug. Her arms wrapped around him so tight it felt desperate as she said, „I’m disobeying orders. No Angels … since Lucifer, I … Maybe I don't deserve to be saved either. Maybe I got to pay …“

„Yeah, well, …“, JJ pulled her to face him, „We’ve all done things we got to pay for.“

This time it was him who kissed her first and she sighed against his mouth and they stood like this, learning each other until her hands pushed underneath his shirt. Next thing, JJ had her pressed against the wall kissing them into a frenzy. Then she pulled him towards the bed, ripping off his shirt and he in turn pushed her onto her back while rolling down her jeans to the knees, nipping at the soft skin of her thighs. Her fingernails drew burning lines across his back and he hitched her leg higher on his waist.

Coming together was like letting out a deep breath. She gasped into his mouth and whispered his name in strangled encouragements. She kissed her brand on his shoulder and he fisted her hair in the nape of her neck to ground himself.

After, they didn’t say a word for a long time. The only light in the dark room were the occasional spotlight chasing alongside the room walls as cars passed by on the road. Her hair tickled his skin as she leaned back against him and he felt the brand pulsing in sync with his heartbeat.

„Lucifer disobeyed and fell“, she whispered eventually, „It's our murder one. And I know it and I’m doing it anyway. For the first time, I feel …“ She stopped, swallowed, tried to start again but failed.

With a gentle gesture he stroked her hair back from her eyes and gave her a full-on toothy JJ-grin, „Hey, don’t worry … it’ll get worse. It’s only human you know?“

She snorted and rolled her eyes, but she also smiled back and maybe JJ thought maybe they would be okay.

„I don't know what to do, JJ. What should I do?“

JJ leaned in to kiss her and against her mouth he answered, „I have no idea, Kie.“

She pulled him on top of her again.

* * *

Kiara put on her shirt when he said, „Pope was right. We have less than three days left and we don’t even know what final seal that is or how to prevent her from breaking it. This is impossible!“

Kiara looked up, „What did you just say?“

„ _This is impossible!“_ , he hissed and threw a balled up flannel into a corner, _„_ Pope was right! Nobody could have done this!“

She stared at him with wide eyes and repeated, „It’s an … impossible task.“

JJ mustered her face, „You just thought of something, didn’t you?“

„Because … we were the only ones that _tried_.“

„You mean the other angels didn’t stop the seals from breaking?“

„I don’t think they knew! Our orders werde contradicting each other. My brothers and sister were send left and right while I … I was stuck here with you.“

„My, you’re welcome…“, he huffed indignantly but Kiara interrupted him, „I’m not sure God gave these orders.“

JJ looked back at her, „Then who did?“

„I … someone receiving revelation, someone in the command chain.“

„But why would …“, he never finished that sentence because the bullets that were still scattered around the floor started to shake.

And then the beds, the walls, the floor around them began to shake as well and a blinding light filled the space. JJ clutched his ears as a high pitched ring he knew by now as an unfiltered voice of an angel split his skull. He groaned in pain while stars were dancing in front of his eyes.

When he tried to look up, he saw Kiara standing and listening intently. Then she spun around and gripped his face hard between her hands, forcing him upright from where he had fallen to his knees without noticing. The light and the sounds intensified and he moaned in pain.

Her voice was low and muted next to the ringing in his ears, „Angels cannot possess a body unless we are being invited in.“

Then the blinding light surrounded them completely, the tone made him deaf to everything but the pressure pain and high pitched ringing in his head until it suddenly stopped.

When he opened his eyes, Kiara was gone and he was not at the motel anymore.

* * *

When he touched his ear he found blood on his fingers tips.

„Fuck“, he groaned and sat up, finding himself in an elegantly decorated apartment. And then he noticed that there was no doors or windows to speak of.

„The Fuck?“ he repeated. The floor was warm underneath his naked feed. Somewhere a clock was ticking softly in the background.

„Hello JJ.“

He spun around and saw a man in an elegant suit standing behind them, his hair and mustache more salt than pepper colored. He must have tried something like a reassuring smile but it looked pained. His pale eyes had the age-old quality of an angel.

„My name is Shoupe, I’m …“, the angel started but JJ tore right into him, „Where is Kie?“

Shoupe blinked one, two times and immediately gave up on that forced smile. His voice was flat when he answered, „Don’t worry about her. Kiara will be dealt with.“

„What are you doing to her?!“

„She was getting too close to the humans in her charge, despite our warnings. It has impaired her judgment. Forget about her. You have larger concerns.“

„You crazy … Let me out!“

Shoupe smacked his lips in a very human motion of annoyance, „JJ Maybank. I’m an angel of the Lord, and you have been brought here for your own protection. It’s too dangerous out there. Demons are on the prowl. You are safer here until it’s time.“

Shoupe motioned, „Call this your Green Room if you will. Before your big fight.“

„I've been getting my ass kicked by demons since I’m twelve and now you're sweating my safety? You're lying. What happened to Kie? Where are Pope and John B? I want to see them!“

„That's … ill-advised. Lilith is going to break the final seal.It’s … fait accompli at this point. And John B has his own part to play“, Shoupe waved with his hand as if there was a fly bothering him.

JJ studied the angel in front of him, „You … don't want to stop it, do you?“

Shoupe smile again, less pained this time but thin regardless, „Have you finally figured it out? Yes. We never did. The end is nigh and the apocalypse is coming.“

„But why?“

„Why not? We like our chances. And when our side wins - and we will - its paradise on earth. Now, what's not to like about that?“

JJ shook his head but, unimpressed, Shoupe continued, „Kiara’s task was to keep you occupied with little errand tasks. Well, she failed. But you, JJ … you are still vital! We weren't lying about your destiny. You are chosen. You will stop it. Just not Lilith, or the apocalypse. You are the Michael’s sword, JJ.“

„The … what?“

„You are the chosen vessel of our general, archangel Michael. You're going to stop Lucifer himself.“

JJ stared at the angel in front of him, „I … What? This is … _Where's God in all this?!_ “

„God? Oh …“, Shoupe eyes wandered off into the distance as he said, „God had never had any stake in this.“

JJs mouth dried out and it took him a moment to gather his racing thoughts into something other than _fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck._

„So, all this destiny bullshit and the talk about God's plan ... It's all just a bunch of lies?!“

Shoupe leaned forward, „Look, _boy!_ I am utterly through entertaining your whims. The war will begin soon and we need our general. This is about family! I think you are able to relate. Now, Michael is going to take his vessel on earth- you! - and he will lead the final charge against the adversary. You understand me?“

„Fuck you“, JJ crossed his arms, remembering Kiara’s last word to him, „Michael needs my consent. Angels can’t simply possess humans.“

Shoupe bared his teeth, „Wait and see.“

Then he vanished.

* * *

After screaming himself hoarse, cursing and joking to provoke any kind of reaction without success JJ proceeded to smash the room around him. He considered himself somewhat of an expert on torture but locking someone in a mint green colored room with stucco decor and drapes seemed particular evil.

At some point he guessed that the angels considered him well and true locked in and nothing short of him attempting to hurt himself seriously would move them into action.

They pulled him out of hell and let him think he stood a chance to turn the tide just to keep him entertained while they were watching their plan unfold, letting him and the grunt of their troops trip over themselves in the dark until some angelic a-hole was ready to possess him as a meat suit.

„I should have stayed in the OBX. Surfing and smoking all day long, what a fucking dream“, he muttered to himself.

He tried to do it like Pope, think through everything he knew but his thoughts were too wild and bounced around too much to gather a clear line of thought.

_And John B has his own part to play._

_Save him. And if you can’t … you need to kill him._

_His chosen vessel on earth._

_John B has his own part to play._

_How certain are you that what you just bought is pure John B?_

_If you can’t … you need to kill him._

_Lucifer disobeyed and fell._

_John B has his own part to play._

_My prodigal son returns._

_This is about family._

_You need to kill him._

_Then this was their plan all along._

_Angels cannot possess a body unless we are being invited in._

_You are my best friend. You are my brother!_

It took him a long time to finally figure it out.

„Fuck“, he said when he did and stared around the smashed room before he got up and hammered against the nearest wall, „I need to talk!“

„Are you ready to concede?“, Shoupe asked from behind and JJ spun around.

„Lucifer needs a vessel too.“, he gasped out.

Shoupe frowned first but then he looked at JJ almost genial, „You _are_ a bit slow, aren’t you?“

„Lucifer is an angel and he needs a vessel. The demons have planed for this for a long, long time. It’s John B! Yellow Eyes did something to him, marked him or something and that’s why all of this is happening to _us_. John B’s mother and Big John and me … John B is the only vessel that matters. I’m Michaels sword only because John B is Lucifers. Because Lucifer and Michael are brothers.“

Shoupe intoned, „As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth: One brother has to kill the other.“

„I can stop it!“, JJ pleaded, „Whatever it is, whatever they plan to do with him, I can stop him! Just let me see John B. This doesn’t have to happen!“

„I told you, JJ … we want this to happen. Do you think you know better than us, one unimportant little man against the true sons and daughters of Heaven? What makes you think you get to choose?“

„You poor, crazy son of a bitch! Do you even know what's real?! _People._ People are real! And you are going to watch them all burn for kicks?“

„What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you and I see your guilt. Your anger, your confusion. In paradise all is forgiven! You'll be at peace. Even with John B.“

„Take your peace and put it up your ass! I don’t want it. I’ll take the pain and the guilt. This is simple! There is a right and there is a wrong! Maybe for the first time I know what’s what.“

„Call me when you are ready, JJ“, Shoupe vanished again.

JJ slumped down against the wall. After a long time squirming in silence he lifted his eyes up.

„Please …“ he croaked to what he thought may be the sky above him, blinking tears away, „Please, ... I can’t. I need some help.“

And then, „Please?“

* * *

Eventually, JJ started pacing again.

Part of him wondered if Shoupe and his goonies were watching him somewhere with the angelic equivalent of a bowl of popcorn in their laps. Part of him wanted to wring their necks and smack a fucking hole through the wall.

He had no idea of much time had passed when all of the sudden he felt his hairs stand on end. Tensing his shoulders he spun around, determined to hit first and ask questions later. But Kiara was faster. She ducked and, grabbing him by the shoulders, she shoved him so hard against the wall he gasped loudly.

She pressed a hand over his mouth. Kiara looked pale with dark circles around her eyes and her hair hanging loose. Then she pulled a knife out from her belt.

For a moment, they eyes met.

JJ nodded. And Kiara let him go.

In one swift movement she drew the blade all the way along her forearm. She slumped against him for a moment before handing him the knife and coating her fingers in the fresh blood. 

She started drawing on the wall next to him. He could only make out a large circle surrounded with foreign signs and symbols before the flutter of wings sounded. JJ put himself between her and Shoupe with the three other angels with him, raising the knife knowing full well it would do chicken shit.

„Kiara, don’t …“, Shoupe yelled and took a step forward but suddenly a violent flash of white light engulfed him and the others and JJ almost dropped the knife to cover his eyes. When he looked up, they had vanished.

Kiara stood with her bloodied hand still pressed into the center of the sigil, breathing heavily, „He won't be gone for long. We have to move fast.“

„Wha … what’d just happened?“

„I send them away. It’s a banishing sigil, very unpleasant. Remember the symbols, JJ, we are going to needs this again very soon.“

She stumbled towards him and he caught her by the shoulders, „Whoa, Kie! Kie, what did they do to you?!“

„I’m … don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I think. I … I guess it’s just what happens when you are being cut off from heavens power“, she smirked sardonically while JJ ripped a piece off the decorative drapes he had trashed and bound her cut arm.

„I’’ll heal, JJ.“

„I don’t care. I - I don’t like to see it.“

„We have to go. Now.“

And then she touched his forehead with two fingers and the next time he blinked, the room around him had changed again. Pope and John B moved fast and had their guns pointed at Kiara and JJ appearing in the middle of the room before recognizing them.

„Wait!“, JJ groaned, „So you could have just zapped me to Heywards after all?“

Kiara huffed.

„Where have you guys been?!“, John B shouted and without waiting for a response he engulfed JJ in a bone crushing hug, „The room was completely turned over! You have been gone for two days!“

When he moved to let go, JJ held on.

„Dude …“, John B whispered softly, then more urgently, „JJ, what happened to you?!“

The word tumbled out of JJ’s mouth like he was at a confessional: That the Angels never wanted to stop the apocalypse. That both sides need a vessel for their generals. Who those vessels where.

Why.

Every step along the way, in one way or the other, had lead them here like pawns in the game of chess, positioning them at the gates of hell right before its opening: Yellow Eyes intrusion and Big Johns conversion. Luke Maybanks possession and JJs recruitment. Big Johns training and the demons deal. John Bs accident. JJs sacrifice. John Bs resurrection. JJs breaking the first seal and torturing again, back on earth. All of them delivering all the pieces to the right place at the right time for the battle to begin.

John B was very quiet as Pope erupted in a million questions, until Kiara stood from her chair and stoped everybody in their tracks, „It’s time to leave.“

JJ’s head snappedup, „Run away?“

„Heaven and Hell are looking for you - neither Michael nor Lucifer can enter you unless you give them permission. That gives us an edge. But just barely. And not here. Not now. We need to go before they find us.“

Pope nodded, „Regroup. Form a strategy.“

„And let them get away with starting the end of the world?!“, JJ shouted.

„We can’t just flee“, John B said. He looked up, eyes suddenly blazing, „This is our fault. We did this! We are the only ones that know. We are the only ones that can do something. We can’t run. Nothing has changed: We need to stop it.“

„Everything has changed, John B!“, Pope said, „The apocalypse is coming. And there are not just one but two armies against us. It's Godzilla and Mothra! If one side doesn't get us, the other one will. How could we win?!“

„How could we win if we don’t fight?“, JJ gripped the back of a chair so hard his split knuckles stared to bleed again.

„Kiara, there must be someone we can ask for help, I mean … someone must be open to _reason?_ There must be someone who would hear us out!“, Pope asked desperately.

„No Pope“, John B shook his head, „I say screw angels and demons and their apocalypse. I say we take 'em all on. We stop Lilith. And if that doesn’t work - we will kill the devil. We even kill Michael if we have to! But we will do it our own damn selves.“

JJ hugged John B so tight he lifted him off his feet, „I’m so proud of you right now!“

„Thanks, buddy.“

Pope just frowned as Kiara huffed sardonically, „And how are we supposed to do all this, genius?“

„I don’t have the slightest idea“, JJ replied with a toothy grin, „But we are as persistent a group of bastards as there ever lived one and we’ll find a way.“

He threw his other arm over Popes shoulder, pulling him in and Pope grinned, „You are crazy! Both of you!“.

JJ shrugged, „It's been said. Let’s kill a bitch!“

Kiara just gaped at them.

„There is just one problem: We can’t _actually_ kill her“, John B grimaced.

„Excuse you?“

„Pope figured it out while you were gone. ‚ _The first demon is the final seal‘ -_ Lilith _is_ the final seal. Killing her will only jump-start the whole business.“

Kiara stared at all of them with wide eyes, „What is your plan then?“

JJ shrugged, „Improvise?“

For a moment she was silent. Then, „How are you all still alive?“

„Technically, I died“, JJ frowned for a moment.

„Me too“, John B shrugged.

Pope shook his head, „I’m usually in front of a computer. Or a book.“

„Well, exorcism it is“, JJ clapped her on the shoulder, „We’ll be fine.“

„I defected for you“, she replied, deadpan.

„Yes. And that was a good choice. Remember that.“

* * *

They had spend the rest of the day preparing and were waiting with a clear view on the convent entrance gates since sunset.

It was the middle of the night when finally a whole row of black SUV showed up, passing them by, hidden by the shrubbery. Apparently Lilith liked to travel in style.

When JJ turned to Kiara she already had one hand raised and now pressed it to his chest. He gasped as he felt a short, intense pain vibrating through his body.

„What the hell was that?!“

„An Enochian sigil. This will hide you and John B from every angel in creation, including Lucifer.“

She was not a fan of what they were about to do as she had made abundantly clear with a lot of dark looks and choice words.

„What, did you just brand us with it?“, JJ rubbed the spot as a burning feeling lingered.

„No“, she replied curtly, „I carved it into your ribs.“

JJ opened his mouth to give her a couple of choice words of his own when he saw her rubbing her forehead like she was in pain. He remembered her weakened state before, remarking her loss of power and being cut from the force of her race. Not for the first time he wondered how strong she really was, before and now in comparison.

JJ gently nudged her, „You think you got enough angel mojo left for this thing?”

Kiara stared at her hand as if she had recently grown a new one, „It’s strange. I’m feeling weaker than ever before. But at the same time it’s like -- something shifted. In my mind. In my powers. But I can’t … grasp yet."

JJ saw John B and Pope emerging from their car at the other side of the road and hurrying towards them in full gear.

„Look, don’t freak out on me. I mean really, I’m happy for your spiritual awakening. But can you hold your own? Until you know ... we have faced down demons and angels and potentially the devil himself and lived to tell the tale?”

She bared her teeth at him like a wildcat, „You know it’s a trap and you walk right into it! What fools plan is this?!“

„It’s the only plan!“

„You know, I can still zap you to Alaska. And just …“, she motioned, „… leave you there.“

„Nah! You enjoy me too much“, JJ grinned, „But look at you! A sense of humor at last! Must be one of those shifty thingies you talked about.“

Kiara stared at him and then broke out laughing for real. He took her face in his hands and pulled her to his mouth. To his delight Kiara sighed against his lips.

John B rapped against the windshield grinning wide while Pope intently looked everywhere but inside the car.

„Let’s go stop the end of the world“, JJ huffed and gave Kiara another quick peck on the lips just because he could.

The advanced slowly to the convent but no one was guarding the entrance and JJ kept fingering that special colt of Big Johns strapped to his thigh that they saved for extremely nasty demons.

The building was dark, with a crumbling roof and wet puddles from the last shower storm when JJ saw it.

He raised his hands and the others stilled behind him. Wet imprints of giant paws littered the floor all over to entrance hall, gathering in front of a small entrance down to the catacombs and then scattering into the hallways leading deeper into the buildings complex. JJ recognized the prints immediately and cold sweat erupted on his forehead and back.

„Hellhounds“, he whispered with weak voice. His memories tore at his flesh like sharp claws.

They inched forward and John B peered down the long staircase cut into the bowels of the earth. Somewhere down there there were low voices echoing. Then they heard a distant sniffing and howling in the hallway to their left.

JJ and John B exchanged a long, telling look. The hellhounds scouting the building would regroup here, blocking their escape route outside. The only way was down into the catacombs, being caged in by the hellhounds above and whatever was waiting for them below.

John B nodded and JJ motioned them forward. No one really expected to survive this stint anyway.

„Time for my new creation I suppose“, Pope mused.

Carefully he put the bomb containing rock salt and iron nails in front of the catacomb entrance as they inched down the narrow staircase, slowly unrolling the wire connecting the detonator. When they were in position around a bend, Pope gave JJ a signal who still at the end of the staircase raised a shotgun.

The shot drew the hellhounds back to the hall and for a moment every sound was drowned out by the howling of the creatures speeding towards them. JJ ran as fast as he could and then there was not other sound beyond the massive explosion triggered by Pope. Flames licked alongside the stone walls followed by stone and debris raining down the staircase as the building above them shook in its foundations.

The hellhounds were silenced.

„There goes our moment of surprise“, Pope said through gritted teeth.

„Go. Go. _Go!_ “, John B shouted and they ran deeper into catacombs toward the voices.

They spun around a corner and saw demons guarding a stretched antechamber with a winged door at the other end.

„Get behind me“, Kiara took a step forward, shadowy wings erupting from her back. The demons stilled in their tracks at the sight of the angel in front of them. She rose her hands and a blinding light flashing from her palm. The demons screamed.

„Now!“, JJ shouted and Pope unloaded the high pressure cleaner strapped to his back and filled to the brim with holy water. The demons hit fell to the floor motionless, steam rising from where the water had burned into their skin.

The ones still standing charged.

JJ emptied his rock-salt loaded guns into them as Pope started chanting the latin words of the exorcism ritual and John B slashed with his demon-cutting-knife. Kiara eyes were aglow and she burned out demons left and right by pressing her hand on their foreheads.

It was loud and it was messy, and JJ instincts kicked in, making him shoot and punch his way forward. Until one of the demons blindsided him with a jab to his gut and pinning him against the wall. The demon bared his teeth and started to pour out of his meat suit in a fast moving, rippling cloud of black smoke to possess JJ instead.

„Nice try, you parasite!“, JJ choked out as the black smoke bounced off an invisible shield.

Then John B was there, driving the knife through the throat of the poor 40-something with bad dental hygiene. JJ fell back, fighting the urge to rub at the freshly tattooed protection sigil on his upper chest, right next to Kiaras hand imprint. Turned out, she had quite a talent with a tattoo gun as well.

As fast as it started, it was over.

Bodies steaming and bleeding surrounded them in the hallway as Kiara let the final demon drop to the floor in front of the double doors to the catacombs. Pope discarded the empty water tank and loaded a shotgun instead.

Kiara took one look back at them, then she lifted her hand and the door to the tomb sprung open.

The hard part was only just beginning.

* * *

Lilith wore the body of a young woman, with dark blonde hair and a white dress pristine against her golden skin, mirroring the cloudy white of her eyeballs- a stark contrast to the blacked out eyes of the number of demons guarding her. She stood in front of a tomb decked out as altar, candles burning and pentagram drawn and she smiled benevolently down on them.

„John B. I waited for you.“

Without preamble JJ raised the colt and aimed at her heart.

The shot rang through the tomb and Lilith body shook with the impact. The wound sizzled and smoked. Lilith gazes at her chest for a moment, but then she smirked with one raised eyebrow. The wound started to ripple, the bullet emerged and dropped to the ground with a soft chime, leaving nothing but smooth, intact flesh.

„Nice touch. But I’m not just some demon, JJ, I’m the first demon! Your colt can’t harm me.“

Kiara lifted her hands and a gush of wind blew out the candles of the altar, smashing a couple of demons against the stone walls where they stayed, motionless.

Lilith dress billowed behind her but left her standing where she was.

Kiara groaned and suddenly her whole body started to tremble like she had completely drained it from all of its energy.

„Maybe you shouldn’t have wasted you last bits of power on those weaklings outside“, Lilith flicked her wrist and Kiara flew back, smashing against the other side of the tomb.

„I have to say I expected more of an effort on heavens behalf. But then …“, she shrugged nonchalantly, „Your god is a deadbeat, sweetheart. Mine — mine will walk the earth.“

Lilith gave them a twisted smile. And with this words the demons attacked and chaos erupted.

JJ was smashed against the floor with hands above him closing tight around his throat. He gasped for air and somewhere he heard a loud crack followed by a pained scream. It sounded like Pope and JJ punched blindly around him to get to his friend, but they where everywhere.

No one attacked John B. Confused he looked around, knife raised in a defensive position when suddenly Lilith was right in front of him.

„Come get me, John B“, she breathed, „Let’s get this show on the road.“

John B lifted the knife … and let it drop.

Lilith head snapped back up, face angry but when she raised her hand at him nothing happened.

„Impossible“, she breathed with wide eyes.

John B charged her with a loud shout and tackled her to the ground. He managed to pull her in a tight hold, pressing her flailing arms tight to her chest and her twisting neck still. Lilith tried to claw at him but he was stronger than her human body, somehow her demonic powers useless against him.

„I’m the devils vessel, baby“, he hissed with a forced grin, „Your mojo doesn’t work on me no more.“

He legs kicked uselessly in the air and John B screamed, „Guys, guys! Someone do something _now!!“_

JJ tried to dive for John Bs knife but two of Liliths guard were on him in an instant, pulling him back. He stabbed one through the chest as Lilith suddenly opened her mouth and screaming black smoke stated to seep out of her as if to escape.

„Someone now, now, _now!!“_ , John B gritted through his teeth at the strain to hold Lilith down.

Pope rose breathing heavy, one arm hanging useless down his side like the shoulder popped out of his socket. Still clutching his rosary he started to intone, „ _Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica pote-_ …“ but another demon tackled him from the side.

Lilith continued to scream and convulse in John Bs grip but suddenly the black smoke started to quiver, to slash back and forth and with a flash retreated back into Lilith’s open mouth.

„ _Now or never!_ “, John B screamed.

And then Kiara was there in front of him, eyes glowing, wings again stretched, ever fiber of her body bursting with something that made the air around them crackle. She put her hand on Lilith forehead. When she spoke her voice was deep and echoing and utterly other-worldly.

„Close your eyes“, she said to John B.

Lilith shrieked and trashed, the earth around them started to shake as bright light erupted from the demons eyes and mouth reflected by Kiaras own.

It was like a reversed boom.

The absence of sound and movement surrounded them with the pressure rising higher and higher until their ears popped and their lungs burned.

Until finally, it imploded. 

* * *

They were all spread on their backs in the middle of the catacombs, breathing hard andbodies battered.

„What … just happened?“, Pope croaked.

„Did you kill her? Did it start?!“, John B rolled the motionless form of Lilith off him and looked around frantically as if he expected the open gates of hell and a figure with horns and a trident emerging any second.

JJ tried to stand up with a groan and but felt his ankle throb like it had twisted and hunched over instead.

Kiara touched her forehead, stared at her hand in wonder, „I … no. I don’t … It was right there, just beyond the brink …“

„Kie?“

„I never could do this before. Not when I was still …“

And finally she said, „I … _delivered_ her.“

„That was an option?“, Pope asked the same time JJ said, „Is that the same as killing her?“

Lilith body was lifeless next to John B who shook his head disoriented. The demons surrounding them had vanished, with only their fallen left behind. None of the bodies moved as they stared at the young girl in front of the destroyed altar.

„I guess we … did it?“, JJ shrugged.

„This feels anticlimactic, doesn’t it?“, Pope winces as he held his shoulder.

„Should we like … make sure?“, John B asked when the demon in front of him suddenly took a deep gasping breath with her whole body convulsing.

And then Lilith started to cry.

„Thank you! Oh God, _thank you!_ “, the girl was ghostly pale in her face despite the tan skin, her dress now dirty and torn and she was shaking from head to toe.

She wiped at her running nose and eyes and stammered, „I was screaming but - but no one could hear me! … Ah, oww. Everything hurts!“

„Are you … human?“, John B crouched down, steading her by her shoulders, then turned and mouthed the word ‚Help‘.

„I … God, all the things she did I … I tried to stop it but I couldn’t!“, Lilith cried.

Pope clutched his rosary to his chest with his good hand. Kiara stared at the girl with one eyebrow raised skeptically.

JJ cleared his throat multiple times and finally settled on, „Dude, I like shot you in the heart! You … are you sure you’re okay?“

The girl stared at him with wet eyes and then groped the spot where his bullet had hit her before.

„I don’t feel anything …“, she closed her eyes as if listening inward, and then she broke out in a broad smile and started crying again at the same time, „Oh God! She is really gone! I’m free. _Yes!_ Yes, oh God! I’m myself again.“

He voice was shaking with excitement as she spoke, „She had all these plans! Horrible, horrible plans. She was … crazy! The bitch kept me and - and … mocked me like some sick game. I hated her and screamed at her but she would just laugh! She … she wanted to flee when that girl put her hands on me. But - but I didn’t _let her.“_

„You … what?!“

„I didn’t let her out!“, the girl hissed, gaze fierce, „I’d rather die with that bitch than having someone else go through what I went trough.“

„Wow“, JJ grinned, „You are a fucking badass!“

„What’s you name?“, Kiara asked.

„I’m Sarah.“, she laughed again and despite all the tears, snot, dirt and blood covering her, she was beautiful.

„Sarah, let me tell you …“, JJ sighed, „You might have just saved the world.“ And as if suddenly all his energy was depleted - for the first time ever - JJ let himself fall back and stretching out on the floor like he was on a beach somewhere.

„Is there anyone we can call?“, Pope asked and Sarah needed a couple of tries before she whispered, „She killed my family. All of them. I’m alone.“

John B gingerly put an arm around Sarahs shoulders and for a while she sobbed into his neck as they sat in the middle of the catacombs, exhausted and hurt and confused.

„Is it … really over?“, Pope finally asked.

„We need to go“, Kiara stood up and they heard something in her neck pop, „The angels will be looking for us.“

JJ groaned.

John B helped Sarah from the floor and Pope and JJ at to lean onto each other to slowly follow the others.

They made their ways out of the convent when Pope suddenly stopped in his tracks, „Wait, so … in the end John B, Sarah and Kie did all the work? What the hell was all the trouble with JJ being the chosen one?!“

„Hey hey … careful, chief! I roused the troops, okay?“

Sarah turned to John B, _„Who are you people?“_

John B looked at the others, helpless.

JJ just laughed and squeezed Kiaras hand she had put in his own.

„It’s a long story, Sarah.“

**Author's Note:**

> I tried. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> __________________
> 
> Obligatory Playlist:
> 
> „Heat of the Moment“ - Noah Gallangher ’s High Flying Birds (Intro)  
> „Bad Company“ - Bad Company (JJ)  
> „Renegade“ - Styx (John B)  
> „Don’t Mind the Lion“ - Ron Gallo (Pope)  
> „This Ain’t No Hymn“ - Saint Saviour (Kiara)  
> „Laugh, I Nearly Died“ - The Rolling Stones (Hunter’s Story)  
> „Evil Things“ - The Black Angels (Demons/Angels)  
> „Losing my Religion“ - R.E.M. (JJ & Kiara)  
> „Hell to the Liars“ - London Grammar (Sarah)  
> „Carry On (Wayward Son)“ - Kansas (Finale)


End file.
